More things you don't want to hear during staff meetings

At the "Difficult Cases" staff meeting last month, we were discussing how best to re-engage Mr.Incredibly Unhappy with our services. He had stopped taking his medications some time before, and had decompensated to the point where he was having multiple weekly contacts with the RC Sheriff's office for being a public disturbance.
Barry had an idea. "LuAnn is his case manager. I'm sure she can take care of it!"
LuAnn had different plans. "I'm rubber, you're glue, everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you!

Time for a new dictation service

I found this in a patient's chart this week:

"I will call the client's PCP about her gigolo's vain dissension."

It's called JUGULAR VEIN DISTENTION!